In any loving relationship, individuals need to maintain rational
thinking and clear mindedness all throughout the dating experience. This
means they must approach the issue of sexuality with utmost caution and
clarity.
The best relationships involve two people who have worked hard to let
the emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical aspects of their
union develop at the same pace. A couple’s relationship gets muddled and
off-kilter when they allow one aspect (most often, the physical) to get
far ahead of the other aspects. Therefore, it’s important to think
through a few principles of physical passion before you find yourself in
a serious relationship.
Passionate love always involves strong physical attraction.
If a couple genuinely loves each other, they will want to hug, kiss,
and express themselves sexually. These desires are a fundamental part of
everyone’s biological and psychological makeup. In fact, if you don’t
feel your partner’s strong physical desire to be close to you, a crucial
element may be missing. A lack of affection or desire for physical
intimacy should raise a red flag in your mind.
There is a progression to the way sexuality is expressed.
Think of it as a chain reaction: sexual behavior moves from the
simplest kind of expression (say, touching your partner’s shoulder) to
the fullest kind of expression. So the critical question becomes, how
far along the chain can you go and still maintain full control of your
sexual expression?
Every progression of physical activity establishes a new plateau—and
it is extremely difficult to retreat once it has been reached.
Every level of sexual experience is so immediately gratifying that
it’s nearly impossible to be satisfied by previous levels. That’s why
every new step of sexual expression must be carefully decided upon by
both people. This may sound too rigid to many because it runs counter to
the popular thinking in our society. But if sexual expression is
allowed complete freedom, and if spontaneity is treated as a primary
virtue, this expression will develop “a mind of its own,” without any
concern for long-term consequences.
Physical involvement must be managed with extreme care.
Strongly defined boundaries need to be agreed upon, and there must be
self-discipline to stay within those limits. Otherwise, sexual
expression can take control of the relationship and blind the couple to
reality. When sexual expression is not kept in check, the emotional,
cognitive, and spiritual aspects of the relationship become slaves to
the physical desires. Let us say it again: Physical attraction is
critical, but it needs to develop in a coordinated way with the other
aspects of the relationship.
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